The Ten Commandments


The Ten Commandments by David Macfie

NOTE: This is a work of fiction. Any similarity between any characters in this story to any person, living or dead is purely accidental.

And the leader spoke all of these words, saying: “I am the boss your President and here are my commandments.”

First, you shall have no other presidents before me.”

Second, you shall not make for yourself, or any other, a carved, or sculpted or painted image of me or any of my parts or anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath or that is in the water under the earth, that is uncomplimentary to me in any way.”

Third, you shall not take the name of the leader, your President in vain.”

Fourth, remember that every day is my day, to keep it holy.”

Fifth, honor your father and your mother, but remember to honor me more.”

Sixth, you shall not murder me or anyone related to me or connected to me by money or anyone else unless specifically ordered to, by me.

Seventh, you shall not commit adultery for that is my prerogative.”

Eighth, you shall not steal, for that is also my prerogative.”

Ninth, you shall not bear false witness against your neighbor, but I reserve the right to do this against any of my cabinet ministers who do not toe my party line or who speak out against my doubtful policies, or, particularly, who refuse to approve and sign checks for my felonious expenses, whether they be for houses or planes or nuclear power stations or just for my secret offshore bank accounts.”

Tenth, you shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor’s. But I shall covet anything that I want to covet, since I am the leader, the President.

Thus spoke the leader and it was good… for him at least. But it was not good for the poor and the underprivileged and all those without houses or education or jobs. For these, there was no money because it had been, taken and invested or spent by the leader and those who supported him. And the leader stayed in power, because those that supported him, also were allowed the commandments to apply to them, under the leader’s patronage. And it was good… for them at least. But it was not good for the country. The country suffered under the oppression of the leaders who stole their money and their opportunities and their chances of a better life. And their currency devalued and their pensions shriveled and died, and they were downgraded in the eyes of the world.

And soon they had no ox. They still had an ass, but he was the leader and so they were stuck with him.

And it was NOT good.